Hey, Dad, look at me!
Welcome to another track reviews episode. For uh… reasons, Ryan, Connor, and myself (Derek) decided to study the choicest cuts from Buzz Ballads Vol. 2, a series of comps you might have seen commercials for on cable around 2 AM.
Folks, this was tough. This hurt. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but even though a good chunk of how we even got to this point was my fault… I have legitimate regrets. Gaze long into the abyss and it gazes back at you, me, and all of the people with nothing to lose and nothing to prove… NOOOO, IT’S INSIDE ME NOW.
Most of these songs are the pinnacle of single-draft-no-rewrite musicianship. Why is the guy from Fuel so upset about spilled coffee and a broken shoelace? You can take care of both those issues for less than ten bucks, easy.
Normally Ryan would write something like “we hope you enjoy these tracks, etc.” but honestly I hope you’re better than that, and if you aren’t you probably at least read the room well enough to not stan out loud. These were all unjustifiably massive hits and on major labels, so there’s no Bandcamp. Instead, we’ve provided links to the music videos below. We get into some of the videos in the discussion, so it might be worth ruining your YouTube recommendations to take a look. But maybe don’t do that because these songs will get stuck in your head despite how objectively bad they are. (Protip: If you DO watch the videos, do it at 2x speed for fun and efficiency).
Note: All opinions of Springfield, MA, and Florida, in general, are Derek’s alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of FCU as a whole.
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You can acquire this cornucopia of crap via Amazon if you feel like searing what brain cells you have left, but you’ll be happier if you don’t.
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Up next is an in-depth review of the astro death metal quartet Cryptic Shift and their debut LP, Visitations From Enceladus.